i think i’ll join the cross country team, or the touch rugby team, or the female soccer team this year.
random -.- i’ve been thinking a lot these days–about where i want to go, what team or club i want to join, what i hope to do with my life this year. i’ve been planning.
but i realise, these so called plans are in fact, day dreams, fantasies, whatever you call them, when you don’t have your results in the first place. without them, everything else, is just dross; everything you say doesn’t stand. Because at the end of the day, it’ll crumble and fall apart if the results are atrocious.
in the end, it all boils down to how well you do doesn’t it. or rather, how below expectations.
i’m so scared, nervous. i’m not even anticipating it, or excited about it. 
i hate to start my first blog post of the year in such a depressing note. this tension and fear is killing me.
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Writing from the laptop 