Filed under: Uncategorized
I don’t think I love you, but I don’t think i’ll ever forget you.
Filed under: The Heart
You disappoint me terribly. It feels as if i’m talking to the ghost of the ‘you’ I once knew. Unfamiliar yet familiar. What a tragic contradiction.
Filed under: Ramblings
You can’t have anything because you don’t need everything.
Oh yes. I need to remember that I don’t need you to be happy.
I think i’m forever stuck in this cycle of disappointments and crushed hopes because I thought you would turn out to be better. I cannot fathom that a giant, sturdy fortress could ever crumble and turn into dust. Just like that. With nothing ever done to salvage and restore the magnificience and shine of yesteryears. Not even an ounce of effort. Not even a slight pretense.
I can only do that much, you know? I can only hold on for that long. Beyond that, we expose ourselves to forces of nature, to fate. And they’re unpredictable as finding sun in winter.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Why am I still stuck in this vicious circle. I thought I had gotten rid of you successfully. I’m beginning to think of myself as an extremely fickle schizophrenic who cannot make up her mind whether to let you reside or whatever that is the opposite of it. I’m too tired, too distracted to think.
Filed under: Uncategorized
♛
I hope you do stumble across this place, read everything, and be smart enough to guess that most things written here was inspired by you, written for you.
But if you don’t, I’ll just have to realise that life goes on still. It does not stop for the disconsolate heart.
You know, I’ve figured. Life doesn’t need to be so hard. We don’t really have to be chasing after our tails all the time, to always be searching for that rose without the thorn. Because truth is, roses will always have thorns. The tail will always be there behind you. There are forces at work that are greater and more complex for our comprehension, they explain the unexplainable and sometimes, we just have to let these forces change the surroundings knowing that whatever turns out from it, would be the way it is supposed to.
I’m not going to fret over trivial things–whether you love me, whether i’m pretty, skinny, tall, smart enough. There are things which you cannot change by your efforts alone. You cannot force things to happen. They just happen. Whether you want it or not, for the better or for the worse. They take on a rollercoaster personality, one moment it turns out the way you want them to, the next, it all comes tumbling down. Faster than you can ever imagine.
Instead of fretting over the next rapid descend of things, why not sit back and enjoy the ride life has to offer. Whatever unhappy and sad things shall be reminders of the fragility of life and relationships, it will help us become stronger people, it will plant the seeds of gratitude and compassion. Happiness and love that we meet along the ride shall be the forces that draw the smiles on our tired, battered souls after a long hard day as a thought, subtle and quiet as dusk gently creeps up to us– That life, despite all its sadness and struggle, is still worth living fully.
Let us be the riders of life, and not the other way around.
I am tired of always trying to put a name to things.I’m not going to try so hard anymore, especially when it comes to you.
Life is like a playful magician, you can never keep up with the tricks it pulls.
As promised, a paragraph from ‘Letters on Life’ by Rainer Maria Rilke for you to ponder over.
And yet life is transformation: all that is good is transformation and all thats bad as well. For this reason he is in the right who encounters everything as something that will not return. It does not matter whether he then forgets or remembers, as long as he had been fully present only for it duration and been the site, the atmosphere, the world for what happened, as long as it happened within him, in his center, whatever is good and what is bad–then he really has nothing else to fear because something else of renewed significance is always about to happen next. The possibility of intensifying things so that they reveal their essence depends so much on our participation. When things sense our avid interest, they pull themselves together without delay and are all that they can be, and in everything new the old is then whole, only different and vastly heightened.
I hope you’ve gained something from this. As I had.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Dear phantom readers,
Life caught up with the wings that allowed words to soar. The temperamental app refuse to publish my writings, often hurried, at whim, onto the blog. An accumulation of weight of my bones from last November to early February–I had to attend to them. Socialising >> introspection and reflection.
Now that the app from my device is working (thankfully), the bones have seemingly (it’s all in the mind) become lighter, you can expect more frequent updates. And oh few poems and proses coming up for your reading pleasure, I’m going through a literature craze for them now. More than ever.
Love,
Me
What happens when a magician forgets his tricks, a dancer his dance steps, a cook his special formulation of his signature dish?
Would they be frantically searching for their lost jewels, as I am now, or would they show signs of acceptance and probably pick up another new skill. One thing is universal for these people though, they would feel as if the very thing which they spend every waking second thinking, doing, loving, has forsaken and left them. Temporarily, or for good.
I am no magician now. But, I cannot find it in me to give up this thing I love doing most, even though it has become mediocre.
So I shall buckle up, put on more layers of skin hoping that it would provide the much needed solace and safety from the pointed fingers and sharp tongues of the big world out there.
Filed under: Uncategorized
And B said,
Writing from the laptop 