Writing from the laptop

Maybe i’m too serious for you, maybe I worry too much about things they would scare you away if you knew them (but they frighten you all the same because my negative vibes plagues the air of our conversations, you’d feel them too), maybe these childish thoughts of mine and as a result, the inability to deal with things in a mature manner are things which you find frown upon, maybe my tendency to want to establish contact with you like how space stations and space crafts constantly send and receive signals from each other, repels you further away from me instead of drawing you closer.

Or perhaps, you find me to bland for your liking, too ordinary, too mellow, too easily swayed by the forces of life. Things which I’m horribly inapt at, you excel; causes which you champion for, I take an ill-informed stance; matters which frustrates you but yet you find yourself having to carry these weights on your tired shoulders alone because i’m here fighting my own tough battles as much as you are fighting yours; turbulent waves of emotions I stir in our sea that send your boat rocking violently, that threatens to devour any specks of calm and love in the waters.

I am flawed, terribly flawed. But as long as you’re staying, I’ll be here for you as long as you allow me into the deepest depths of your soul, I’ll make promises and with all my might strive to hold them true, I’ll be moody but there’ll be enough love for us at the heart of all these moodiness to last us till the last of days. I’ll be your closest friend–i’ll listen patiently to all your sorrows, all your troubles, and everyday we’ll build a bond that will eventually transcend all time and space, and i’ll be with you. Perhaps, in another dimension, in another world, in another lifetime, but we’ll be together with the strength and tenacity of the bond that will be forged.

You’ll be my muse, and I’ll write you love letters, and we’ll spin stories from the webs of both our lively imagination combined, and slowly, I’ll see the world through your eyes as you will from mine. And each of our worlds would be more beautiful than it used to be, than it was before, and the world that is born from the meeting of two kindred souls will be spectacular, it would be worth all the loneliness of having to be alone when either soul departs, and we’d wish that every single being too had with them a world like ours, one that would extend its warm arms and provide much needed solace and love in their toughest days.

“But everyone dies alone” says a tiny voice from somewhere.

“But death itself happens in a second, it isn’t scary enough for the thought of being alone to sink in. Whereas life, living is an act which you’ve been doing for years and years and years, and if I have led days where I get to wake up to the scent of your skin each morning, and listen to the sound of your snores at night, then I have no fear of the nanosecondth of having to be alone when death comes”,  I say.